My go to Spirit Junkie, Gabrielle Bernstein is know for her positive messages for self-love and acceptance. Instead of throwing the towel in or tossing a pity party for myself I often pick up a Gabby book instead! She’s truly a master of loving yourself and helping others feel confident.
“Projection is perception,” she says, meaning that the outside world acts like a mirror for our internal feelings. “If you project that a size 10 sucks, then it will suck. If you can change the focus to say, ‘my body is healthy and strong,’ then the world will reflect that back to you. Women who live in their bodies are the sexiest women in town.”
To get that sexy, confident appeal down pat, Gabby encourages women to focus on recognizing and changing what they believe about themselves. Learning to love your body is, in her words, “an internal job. It is a decision to be kind to yourself.”
Whether your healthiest body is a size zero or a size 10, the goal is to accept the body you have, without comparing yourself to others. “When you accept the body you’ve been given, you can choose to nurture your body and to keep it as healthy, strong and fit as it can be.”
In a culture that constantly reminds us what Jennifer Aniston ate to prepare for the Oscars or how Kate Hudson lost 70 pounds of baby weight in a matter of months, it’s easy to believe that we can -- and should -- be in constant control of our contours. “You can’t control the outside,” Gabby says. “You can only heal and grow on the inside.” Body image is, after all, a feeling that arises in you.
For those who wonder (and we all wonder) if some women, but not others, are blessed with a special quality -- beauty or brain chemistry or both -- that allows them to love their bodies, Gabby says no way. “We all have that presence within us,” she says. “We just forget sometimes.”
I see too many women beat themselves up and encourage everyone to make small daily steps to leaving to love themselves and their bodies.
Here are my top five tips to kick start your “I love me” month!
1. Want it and know you deserve it. If you don’t truly want it, you’ll never go after it with all of your heart! Make sure you truly want and know that you deserve to be loved by yourself and others.
2. Repetition is the key. Doing something good for yourself everyday will create a healthy habit that will lead to a happier, healthier you.
3. Replace the negative self-talk with positive affirmations. Focus on your positive traits and know that no one but you focuses on what you feel are your flaws.
4. Trust the process. Set a plan and stick to it. If you are making changes, give yourself time and forgive yourself for slip-ups. You are human and we are not perfect all the time. Forgive your imperfections and keep moving forward.
5. Reward yourself. I read a saying last month and I’m still laughing about it.
“Set a goal, don’t tell anyone about it, smash it out of the ball park and celebrate like you just conquered the world.” It’s ok to be super proud of yourself, don’t wait for others to be excited for you!